Last weekend I achieved a major milestone. It may not seem much to you, but this little bookend DIY has been looming over me for months. We’ve been redoing Max’s room to make it more of a little boy’s room and this is one of the finishing touches. I’ve had all the parts ready and waiting – I bought the bookends from eBay, they just needed assembling, painting, and the little dinosaur figures put onto them. As DIYs go, it’s not exactly the most demanding or time consuming. But it’s taken until last weekend for me to have a spare minute to get around to painting them.
And that’s just one of the numerous unfinished projects that I have going on around the house at the moment. In fact, my whole life feels like it’s full of half finished projects right now. There are opened letters littering the dining room that need filing, other letters piled in the letter tray that need opening, washed clothes which have been folded and put on the table ready to be put away, but somehow haven’t made it upstairs. I have numerous blog posts sat in drafts, waiting for me to put the words in place. Even the smallest of tasks seem to remain unfinished – a half drunk cup of tea, that Whatsapp message I read and was about to reply to, but I got distracted by Ben crying / Max asking for a snack / Max needing a poo / Max wanting another episode of Paw Patrol, all of which has to be dealt with immediately.
I don’t know how my life got to this. Before having children I was a PA / Project Manager, and I was pretty damn good at it, if I do say so myself! I loved organising things, running multiple projects at one time. I loved having lots of different plates spinning at one time and feeling that huge sense of achievement when your project comes to a close. These days I’m definitely not keeping my plates spinning – in fact, there are probably plates that crashed to the floor months ago and I’ve not even discovered the mess yet. The simplest of tasks is remaining unfinished and I find it so stressful to have so many things on the to-do list (this implies a physical list even exists – it definitely doesn’t!)
I look forward to the weekends when I have my husband around and I might finally get the chance to tackle some of them, but we seem to spend the whole weekend just getting the house back in a semi-reasonable state, and before we know it, it’s Monday again and that second pair of hands is gone.
Bigger projects like the garden don’t even get touched – I can see the weeds slowly taking hold and undoing all of my hard work.
I know this is a hard stage for us right now, and I know it will get better. But right now, it’s suffocating to live underneath so many unfinished tasks and I’m missing the satisfaction of seeing anything through to completion!