Five years ago today I was getting ready to marry the love of my life. It seems crazy to think we’ve hit the five year anniversary mark – it seems like it happened just the other week, and yet it seems like ages ago – so much has changed in our lives since then.
John and I met in school and went out for two years before breaking up during our A-Levels and losing touch as we went off to university. So I count it as one of life’s fateful moments when our eyes met across a station platform one morning – we got chatting and quickly it was like we picked up exactly where we’d left things.
People say that marriage changes your relationship. I don’t believe that’s true. We had been a couple for six years before getting married, not counting the two years we’d been together previously, so we know and understand each other intrinsically. We are the same people that we were before, our love for each other is still as strong. But there is perhaps more of a sense of being a team – the feeling that together you can take on anything.
Of course, having a baby changes your relationship hugely. I’d be lying if I said that there haven’t been difficult moments between us when we first had Max. We’ve been tired, and angry, and disagreed on things. And there’s been a lot of forgiveness and compromise over the past couple of years. But becoming parents and finding our way together through that journey has strengthened that sense of ‘team’ even more. Max has brought more joy into our lives than I ever thought possible and those memories of us as a family are feelings that I’ll treasure.
But my absolute highlight of our last five years has been watching John become a father. He’s one of the kindest and most caring people I’ve ever met, so I always knew that he’d be great, but seeing him with Max makes my heart melt over and over again. Max worships him and wants to be just like him – “if Daddy’s mowing the lawn, I’ll get my toy lawnmower and mow too!”
Five years feels like our first ‘significant’ anniversary – apparently I should be giving a wooden gift in celebration. But I don’t really subscribe to those traditions, and instead I’ve gone with something more off the cuff – a set of two little china mice from the lovely Lizzie at Marmalade Pie. We had little sugar mice as our wedding favours, and despite keeping two aside, I don’t have high hopes for their longevity! So these are a lovely, more permanent, momento. We’re also celebrating with a night away in our favourite ever hotel – where we got engaged, and where we celebrated our honeymoon. A little bit of luxury – but five years is worth celebrating!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on relationships and anniversaries – do you do anything special to celebrate? What do you think it is that makes a relationship work?